Promposal Page 10

  That said, if he hurt Joshua, it might change my feelings about him. It would be hard not to resent him to some degree for causing that pain.

  So much at stake here. Maybe my text to Ethan was a bit rash. Maybe I shouldn’t get involved. After all, if my actions caused things to fall apart for them, I’d feel horrible.

  It’s a complicated situation, I replied to Benjamin. My friend is still trying to sort it out. I just hate feeling powerless.

  I paused and looked at his words again. It was strange, talking to him like this. Normally, Joshua was my sole confidant for the big things. But something about Benjamin inspired confidence. His thoughtful demeanor, the way he challenged me to look at things from a different point of view.

  I trusted him.

  Wow.

  I wanted to keep talking to him. To open up and let him know how I felt . . . to see if he might possibly feel the same about me too. But I was scared.

  Like Joshua, I had my own reasons for staying quiet and not confessing my true feelings. Rejection was a powerful deterrent. Plus, I wasn’t fully confident in the signs he was throwing me. I felt like we were becoming friends. But could he ever want more than that? I wanted his friendship, and I wanted more.

  I appreciate you talking to me about this, I continued writing. I guess we’ll see what fate has in store.

  A good answer for not only Joshua’s situation, but mine.

  The final bell rang a minute after I handed him the note. We both lingered at our desks while the class emptied out, our typical practice over the last few days. I gave him a shy smile, which he returned.

  We finally gathered our stuff.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.

  He nodded.

  “You nervous about our project?”

  “Nope. I think we did fine.”

  “Me too. But still, I always get nervous. For any project, not just ones in this class, I mean.” I was prolonging our good-bye. Babbling like an idiot. Stop it. “Anyway. Okay. See ya.”

  He turned to the left, and I went to my locker. Got my stuff. Kept my attention firmly on my own belongings instead of watching him walk away. That boy was mixing me up in the head. I was normally pretty good at reading people, but he was an enigma.

  I met Joshua just inside the double doors, and we headed out into the sunshine. The weather was warming up, and it felt good not to have to bundle up like crazy, though there were slushy puddles everywhere.

  I quickly recapped my conversation with Ethan and showed him the two texts—Ethan hadn’t replied to my response.

  Joshua frowned. “What does this mean?”

  “I’m not sure. Either he’s starting to realize he might have feelings for you, or he’s upset that he was left out of the conversation about this guy.”

  “Who doesn’t even exist.”

  “He doesn’t know that.” I peered up at the pale blue sky, streaked with thin strips of clouds. “Your impulse told you to make him up. Obviously, you wanted Ethan to start seeing you as a person desired by others. It really wasn’t a bad idea. Kinda wish I’d thought of it myself.”

  He elbowed me with a laugh. “You come up with enough good schemes on your own. I just learned by watching you.”

  “So, are you guys okay? You and Ethan, I mean.”

  He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. Shrugged. His eyes were hooded, though I saw a twinge of pain there. “It’s weird. Ethan’s acting like nothing happened. He’s been all smiles, though a little more keyed up than usual. I can’t figure him out.”

  “The promposal is on Monday, right? Maybe he’s nervous about it. Not to mention the fact that he might be feeling left out about you liking someone. That probably hurt his feelings.” God, this was so crazy complicated. No wonder Joshua felt like he was in over his head.

  “I wasn’t trying to hurt him.” He raked a hand through his dark hair, leaving small spikes all over the top. Frustration dug a deep line between his brows. “I just . . . I don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this. Pretending we’re friends when all I want to do is grab him by the shirt and kiss him senseless.”

  I thought about Benjamin’s eyes, his mouth on mine. I hadn’t told anyone about our kiss, afraid of what they’d tell me. I knew Joshua would kick my ass when he eventually found out—and he would. But I was still trying to make sense of it all. “I totally know what you mean.” God, this sucked. We both needed to think about something else before we imploded. “Anyway. Tell me more about your plans for the summer. You’re going right to New York City after we graduate, right?” I slugged him in the arm in an effort to mask my sudden burning tears. “Jerk. I’m going to miss you.”

  He rubbed his arm and shot me a glare. “There’s no need for violence just because you’re jealous of my life.”

  “Sorry, sorry.” I gave him a cheeky grin and sniffled back my tears.

  Part of my brain couldn’t accept that he was going to be gone in a couple of months. That I’d see him only at winter and summer breaks. We’d been so close for so long now, practically glued at the hips, as our parents joked. At least I knew he’d stay in touch—both of us already had Skype accounts set up so we could chat in our dorm rooms. Still, it wouldn’t be the same.

  “You know I’m terribly jealous,” I admitted. “You’re going to have so much fun and independence. If I moved that far away from here, I’m pretty sure my mom would pack up our house and follow me.”

  Joshua chuckled. “Yeah, she probably would. Luckily, my dad is pretty set on staying here. I have an aunt who lives just outside the big city, and I’m going to stay with her and work on finding a job before the semester starts.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Whatever it takes to earn money.”

  “Don’t sell crack.”

  He wrinkled his nose. “Crack is so old-school. I’m strictly a pills guy.”

  “Funny.” I shoved him with my shoulder. “So you’ll stay there—”

  Joshua stopped me in place and put a finger over his mouth. I shut up quickly and looked in the direction he was pointing.

  There sat Dwayne and Niecey, on a bench that faced away from us. He had a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand, which he handed to her. From her profile, I could see she was smiling.

  We slowed our pace to a crawl until we were close enough to hear them.

  “—love you, Niecey,” he was saying. He drew a finger along the curve of her cheek and stared into her gorgeous brown eyes.

  Her smile widened, and she leaned into his touch. “I love you too. And these flowers are beautiful. Thank you.”

  “I thought for a long time about what would be the perfect promposal for you,” he said. “I even thought about doing something in front of the school. But everyone there already knows how beautiful and amazing you are, and I wanted this to be about us.”

  I practically melted into a puddle on the spot. I heard Joshua give a soft sigh too, and I knew he was just as impacted as I was.

  Dwayne leaned over, brushed a kiss against Niecey’s lips. “I want to take you to prom. Show you off on my arm as the most gorgeous girl in that room. Treat you like a princess, the way you deserve. Will you go to prom with me?”

  My heart fluttered wildly. Hell, I was so swoony at this point that I almost shouted yes for her.

  Niecey beamed at him, pressed small kisses to his face, his lips. “Yes. I will. I love you.”

  Dwayne pumped a fist in the air. “Yes! Nailed it!” he said with a wink and then leaned toward her mouth.

  They started making out, and Joshua and I mutually decided we didn’t want to witness that part. We slipped past them and kept heading toward our houses.

  Neither one of us spoke for a couple of minutes. Then I said, “That was the sweetest promposal I’ve ever seen.”

  He nodded. “It was perfect. He did it exactly right. Made it about her, not about the spectacle.”

  How would Benjamin ask a girl to prom? He’d said he wasn’t sure if he was
going. But did he like anyone?

  No matter how much he and I were starting to connect, I wasn’t going to get that sort of gesture from him. I was already committed to another guy.

  “You okay?” Joshua asked me.

  I shrugged. “Just . . . thinking.”

  “I know. Me too.”

  My heart pinched. Poor guy. Monday was going to be terrible for him. Watching the guy he loved do something beautiful and emotional for another person. I reached over and took his hand. Squeezed it. “Hey, tell me more about New York. What you’re going to do while you’re there.”

  He shot me a grateful but sad smile. I knew he saw right through me, knew I was trying to distract him. But he appreciated it anyway. “I’m planning to watch every Broadway production I can afford, of course. Stay up all night and walk the city streets. Maybe even bust out my old film camera and take pictures.”

  Yes, there would be miles separating us far too soon. But we were stronger than that.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Joshua

  Friday morning, I sat down in my seat and warmed up my trumpet. Other instruments chimed in around me, adding to the cacophony of noise filling the band room. I did a couple of scales up and down, up and down.

  Tyler, my stand mate and fellow first trumpet, dashed over and whipped his trumpet out of his case. He did a few halfhearted blows through the mouthpiece, blue eyes scanning the room the whole time.

  “Everything okay?” I asked him.

  “Yeah. Fine.” He blew out a few more notes. Emptied the spit valve.

  “Uh-huh, sure.” I flipped to the current piece we’d been working on and practiced the notes with just my fingers, tapping away at the buttons. This song had a few hard runs in it, and while I was pretty dexterous from playing guitar, I needed to improve my speed and accuracy.

  More students filtered in; more noise filled the room. The percussion section joined in, clanging and drumming and chiming away.

  After a minute, Tyler stood and rested his trumpet on his seat. He shot me a cocky grin. “Finally, she’s here. Been waiting to talk to her since lunch.”

  Ah, should have known. Tyler and Madison, his girlfriend since eighth grade, were pretty much inseparable. The two of them were probably going to get married out of high school, have twenty-five kids, and live on a riverboat. Sightings of them apart were pretty rare.

  She waved at him, and he walked over to the flute section at the front of the room. “Hey, honey bunny.” She pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek. “Sorry I was late.”

  He tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear. “Where were you?”

  “Potty break. Couldn’t hold it in.”

  “Ah. Well, you do have a tiny bladder.”

  She shot him a mock glare but laughed.

  “So, I was thinking for prom, we could go to that new seafood place down the street from my house. My dad said it’s great and he knows the chef, so he can get us a good table.”

  She lifted her chin and crossed her arms to peer at him over her nose, despite being a good six inches shorter than he was. There was a tight smile on her face, one that didn’t meet her eyes. “Prom? What’s all this about prom?”

  Oh, shit. I saw what was about to happen. Obviously, he hadn’t officially asked her, and she was calling him out on it. I stood to go warn Tyler, but a freshman who played second trumpet came over and asked me to show him how to do a high C.

  By the time the kid left, Tyler and Madison were surrounded by several other practicing students in the flute section, and I couldn’t hear what they were saying very well over the trills.

  “—not going to ask me?” Madison cried out, her voice piercing the noise. The entire band room went quiet.

  “Mad, this is me asking.” Tyler rolled his eyes. “Seriously, you’re doing this? You’re going to fight with me over this? Right in the middle of the band room?”

  Madison’s cheeks burned. She drew in a loud breath through her nose. “Seriously, you’re doing this? This bullshit is my promposal, for real? Where the hell are the flowers and the candy and the music and the romance? You effing ask me to prom right in the middle of the band room, just like that?”

  A couple of people oohed. They shut up when Madison shot them a hot glare.

  Tyler’s jaw clenched, and he mirrored Madison’s hostile stance, arms crossed in front of his chest. “We’ve been dating five years now. Do you mean to tell me it wasn’t obvious we’d be going to prom together? That I really had to take a risk and ask you in such a ridiculous, overblown way?”

  I shook my head and cringed. This was not going to end well.

  Madison grew deathly still. Her face froze. She didn’t say anything for a full minute, like she was trying to get herself under control, and all I could hear were the whispers of the guys in the percussion section. “What’s obvious to me is that you’re completely clueless. You’ve taken me for granted.”

  Tyler blinked and opened his mouth to speak, but Madison held up a hand and kept going.

  “No, I don’t want to hear anything else you have to say right now. I’m not doing this with you.”

  “Fine. We’ll talk about it later,” he shot back. “In private.”

  “No, we won’t.” She undid a gold necklace around her throat and tossed it in the air toward him. He just barely caught it before it hit the ground. “I mean I’m done. We’re over.” She blinked, and a tear rolled down her cheek. She swiped at it with a shaky hand. “I just can’t believe you.” With that parting shot, she grabbed her purse and her flute case and ran out the band room door.

  “Wait. What the hell?” Tyler just stood there, dumbly watching Madison go.

  A girl in the flute section, one of Madison’s friends, shot him a hate-filled glare and ran after her.

  The whispers kicked in again, layering furiously upon one another.

  “—can’t believe she just dumped him like that,” one guy said with a harsh scoff. “Cold.”

  “Well, I can’t believe he didn’t bother to even ask her to prom,” a girl replied in a hushed tone. “Seriously? That was the lamest promposal ever.”

  Tyler didn’t move from his spot until the band director, Mrs. Wilders, came out of her office and headed toward the podium. She shooed him into his section.

  Hunched over, he walked quietly to our row and sat down by my side. Stared at the music stand. “I can’t believe that happened.” He sounded angry and frustrated, his mouth thinned into a narrow line.

  Mrs. Wilders tapped her baton on her massive music stand. “Scales, folks. Let’s warm up.”

  The rest of band went by fast. Once the gossip died down and we got to work on our difficult piece, we were pretty productive. But I could feel random stares hitting our section the entire time from all over. Everyone was looking at Tyler to see what he’d do, how he’d react to being dumped.

  While Mrs. Wilders focused her attention on the clarinets, I patted Tyler on the shoulder. His muscles were so knotted I could feel them through his shirt. “Hey,” I whispered. “You doing okay?”

  He gave a stiff nod. “Fine.”

  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Underneath all that anger and frustration, I knew he was in a lot of pain. Embarrassed, too.

  His jaw had a tic, and I saw him peek at the section where Madison and the other flute player were still missing. “I’ll fix it.”

  “I know you will. If you need help, let me know.”

  For the first time since sitting down, he looked over at me. There was a hint of gratitude in his eyes, still mingled with the hurt. “Thanks. I will.”

  The bell rang, and we cleared out. Tyler was one of the first out of the classroom. Probably trying to find Madison and sort it all out.

  I tucked away my trumpet case in the designated cubby and left the band room. Stopped by my locker to grab my lunch bag. As I did so, I saw Noah at his locker. His hair was artfully mussed and spiky, and he had on a pair of expensive jeans with a fitted navy blue shirt tha
t showed off his muscles.

  The guy was hot. I couldn’t deny that. There was something about his self-confidence, his easygoing demeanor that drew people to him. No question why Ethan was so into him, at least physically. And yeah, he was nice, too. Probably helped little old ladies across the street and never cheated at Monopoly the way I did. But what else was there to him? What made my best guy friend willing to risk a public rejection to ask Noah to prom?

  Only one way to find out.

  I pushed back my shoulders and drew in a fortifying breath. Closed my locker and walked toward Noah like I was heading to the cafeteria. “Oh, hey,” I told him as I neared him. “You’re Noah, right?”

  “Yup.” He gave me a polite smile.

  “I’m Joshua. I’m a friend of Ethan’s.”

  The smile grew genuine. “Ethan, yeah. We have a class together.” He closed his locker, and we both headed toward the cafeteria. “So, how do you know him? Are you guys good friends?”

  Words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Oh, he and I are great friends,” I found myself saying with a smooth grin. “We’ve known each other since middle school.”

  His smile wobbled a touch. “Ah. I see.”

  My lungs squeezed with guilt, and I huffed a sigh. Crud, I couldn’t do it. I could tell he was fishing, and my impulse was to play up my friendship. But I couldn’t hurt Ethan like that. “You guys are in biology together, right?”

  “Yeah. We are. He talked about me?” His cheeks flushed a touch.

  This was for the best, I told myself. I was doing it for Ethan’s happiness. “He did. All nice things too.” I hoped he couldn’t see the sadness in my eyes.

  “Thanks.” Noah nodded in appreciation at me. His eyes flared with hope. “Well, I’d better get going. Have a good one.” He walked off, and I headed into the cafeteria, wishing I felt better about the nice thing I just did.

  The promposal was going to happen on Monday. Yeah, there was no way in hell I could stick around and watch it. Maybe I could fake a sick day or leave after lunch or something. After all, Ethan would be too busy living out his dream to notice I wasn’t around.