Two Little Lies Page 5

  I was tired of being sad.

  I was tired of feeling embarrassed.

  I was tired of grasping for happiness.

  I wanted to feel good. I needed to shake this off, stop feeling like shit for one evening. And Bianca was right… It was high time I was honest with myself. Brutally honest.

  I’d thought I was in love with West, but I wasn’t. The grief in me was real, but it wasn’t about missing him desperately. It was more like anger and hurt about how he’d treated me the last few months, plus the cheating.

  Pity-party time was over. I pressed my hand to the window and made myself feel the cold seeping into my palm. I was ready to shake this malaise off, even for just one night. No more sitting here in my own messy pile like a total antisocial loser.

  Something similar to excitement blossomed in my chest. With purposeful movements, I straightened my disaster of a room and actually made the bed. I dumped dirty clothes from the floor into the hamper. I did a quick cleanup in the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen.

  I moved back to my room, threw open my closet doors and peered inside. It was New Year’s Eve, and I was ready to get out of this apartment and breathe fresh air. But where should I go, and what should I wear?

  Maybe I could hit Tino’s Bar for a little while. Odds were, I’d run into people I knew, and I could tag along with them if they went somewhere else. I could pretty much guarantee West wouldn’t be anywhere near that bar, since he never did like its cozy, small-town feel. He preferred expensive bars with all his pretentious coworkers.

  Was this crazy of me to go solo? Probably. But right now, I didn’t care.

  I dug to the back of my closet and found a dress I’d basically bought on a dare from Bianca. It was short and tight and black and revealed a scandalous dip of cleavage—enough so that I couldn’t wear a bra with it. Hence why it had sat in the back of my closet.

  Until now.

  I grabbed that sucker and tossed it onto my bed. Found my favorite knee-high black boots then dug into my drawers for a pair of panties. My hand went to a cotton pair then stopped. No one was gonna see them, so why not wear something sexy?

  On a whim during a sale at Victoria’s Secret, I’d purchased this pair of red panties that were the tiniest scrap of fabric I’d ever seen. Something else I hadn’t yet worn yet. But I needed to feel attractive and alluring. I wanted to feel good. To tell myself that West hadn’t cheated because there was something about me that had driven him into another woman’s arms.

  I showered and shaved quickly. Dried my hair and tossed it into a messy updo. My heart began to hammer in my chest as I did my makeup. My hand was shaking as I applied mascara, so I waited for it to calm. Didn’t want to stab my eye.

  I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous. Maybe because I’d never gone out by myself before. I’d always had a friend with me. Or West. This was totally unlike me.

  All the more motivation. It was past time for me to break out of my safe little shell and do something out of character.

  I smoothed lotion over my skin then poured myself into the dress. I had to admit that it was sexy. Very sexy. I checked myself out in the mirror and had a moment of doubt. Maybe it was a bit too flashy for going to Tino’s.

  I heard Bianca’s voice in my head telling me to shut up and wear the damn dress. That made me smile. I zipped into the boots, threw on a dangling necklace I’d made and a pair of simple earrings then grabbed a clutch.

  When I got my coat on, I shut off all the lights and closed up my apartment. My boot steps echoed in the stairwell as I made my way down to the parking lot. My car cleaned off quickly, and I hopped in, cranked up the heat and went to Tino’s.

  The area surrounding the bar was packed with cars. I found a parking spot a block away and sat staring at the steering wheel for a moment. I was going to do this. It would be fun. This town was my home. I knew people here. It wasn’t like being alone in a strange place.

  I got out, walked across the sidewalk and opened the door to the bar. Loud music and bright lights hit me, and I couldn’t help but smile at the wave of warm air that caressed my cheeks and hands.

  Holy crap, it was packed. People of all ages were grouped in large clusters in the building, and the bar was lined with other patrons sitting on stools, drinking beer or cocktails, laughing and talking. I slipped off my coat, hung it in the coat rack and squeezed through the crowd toward the bar.

  First things first—a drink.

  There was an open stool on the very end. Lucky me! I wiggled my way there and took a seat, tugging the short dress over my naked thighs. Then I noticed a couple of guys looking my way from farther down the bar, and a warm flush of feminine ego stole over my cheeks. Maybe I still had it after all.

  Behind the bar were three people serving. The black-haired young bartender nearest me sauntered over, his gaze dipping to my chest for just a fraction of a second before politely nudging back up to my face. He was a new guy named Chris who’d just started a few months ago. “Hey, doll. Um, Natalie, right? What can I get ya?”

  I beamed at him. “You remembered. What do you have on tap?”

  He ran down a list of domestic beers. “What’s your pleasure?”

  “Actually…can I get a cocktail? Surprise me. Something with citrus, please.”

  He winked. “No problem. I know just the thing.” He really was a good-looking guy, even if he didn’t quite stir something in my belly. “Where are your friends?” he asked as he began to whip something up for me. “Don’t you usually come in here with a couple of girls?”

  “I do,” I said with a smile. The stress began to seep away from my limbs as I slipped into the welcome small talk. I could do this. “They’re with their dates tonight.”

  Chris paused and leaned toward me. “So you’re here by yourself? On New Year’s Eve?”

  “I’m here with you, aren’t I?” I teased with a grin. “So I’m not alone.”

  He nodded. “Damn straight.” He presented me with a glass of something clear and slightly pink. “Okay, try this.”

  I sipped. It was sweet, but not overly so. The tartness of the citrus hit the back of my palate. I sighed in pleasure. “This is amazing. What is it?”

  He gave a nod of satisfaction. “A concoction I just came up with. You should help me name it.”

  “Chris!” a group of women called out from the middle of the bar, waving their arms wildly. “Chriiiis! We’re thirsty and we need you!”

  He laughed. “I gotta go. The crowd beckons.”

  After dropping a bill on the bar for payment, I shooed him off and sipped my cocktail. For the next several minutes, I let my gaze roam the crowd, just people-watching. There were some romantic couples throughout, obviously entangled in each other. As I saw them kissing and whispering to each other, my heart squeezed in longing.

  I’d always wanted that with West, but we’d never been like that. He hadn’t been overly affectionate with me. Not the way some couples were.

  I took a big chug of my drink. Man, it really was good. I could feel the alcohol warming me from the inside, and a smile spread across my face. I was alone, but I didn’t feel lonely here. Chris kept shooting me goofy eye rolls as he served the drunken group of women.

  I was so glad I’d left the apartment. This was far better than sitting at home, feeling sorry for myself.

  Before I knew it, I’d finished my cocktail. Chris was there, refilling me at my nod for another drink.

  “I know what we should call it,” I declared as I sipped the new one. I tossed a second bill on the counter.

  He swept them up. “Okay, lay it on me.”

  “Dirty Tartini.”

  Chris barked a laugh. “That’s perfect. The Dirty Tartini it is. I’ll have to add it to our menu.” He left me to go serve other customers pushing their way to the bar.

  I went back to drinking and people-watching. It was a little before eleven now, and the crowd was thick and excited. Music grooved through the speakers, and the dance flo
or was packed full. Maybe I’d get my courage up and go dance after this drink. Maybe.

  My gaze went to the opposite end of the bar, and I paused mid-sip. Holy crap, was that Kyle? The air locked in my lungs as I saw him looking far hotter than he had a right to. He was talking to a guy on his left, the neckline of his dark purple dress shirt open at the throat, exposing the lean column of his neck.

  Shit. I turned my attention to my drink. This alcohol was stronger than I’d realized, because no way should I be having a sexual reaction to the biggest jerk of the century. Okay, to be fair, he had kept mum on the news about West, so I had to give him credit for that. And though he was obviously cynical as hell in regards to dating and the human race’s ability to be faithful, he’d still tried to awkwardly comfort me in his own strange way.

  Maybe I should leave. I was a bit afraid he’d say something rude when he saw me, and I didn’t know if I could handle our verbal sparring tonight. On the other hand, I was also kinda afraid that he’d see me but not say anything at all. Just treat me like I was invisible.

  I was pretty sure that would crush my stupidly fragile ego to bits, as dumb as that sounded. I was tired of feeling invisible to everyone. Even to Kyle.

  No, screw that. I wasn’t going to leave because of him. I could stay here, enjoy my drinks in peace and quiet for a while. Yeah, I was having these weird feelings, but that was a combination of alcohol and…something else wonky happening in me. No biggie. And if I ignored him first, then there wasn’t anything to feel vulnerable about. I was in control.

  I lifted my gaze in an almost defiant manner and saw Kyle staring right at me. A pulse throbbed low in my belly that I tried to fight.

  Kyle’s eyes remained locked on mine, his gaze inscrutable. Then he moved away from the bar and wove through the crowd right toward me.

  Chapter Seven

  My stomach was jumping so hard in my belly that I was sure it would push its way out of my torso. I pressed my fingers there and smoothed the dress in a nervous gesture. Then I drew the dress down over my thighs, since its hem had slowly crept up.

  The methodic movements did their job though. By the time he reached me, I was a bit calmer. Kinda. Okay, not really, but I was totally telling myself I was.

  Kyle was only a foot or so away; I could feel the heat and maleness pouring from his body. He didn’t look hostile or irritated, and I found my guard relaxing a touch. Maybe we could actually have a normal conversation for once.

  “Hi,” I said in a throaty tone. I swallowed and tried again. “Um, how are you?”

  “Fine.” He darted a glance at my almost empty drink. “What’s that?”

  “A Dirty Tartini.”

  His lips quirked for a second then smoothed again. “Never heard of it.”

  “It’s all the rage in Europe.”

  We paused. Apparently that was going to be the extent of our normal conversation. I gave an awkward laugh then tried to cover it up by sipping my drink.

  “So.” He coughed, and I saw a light flush cover his cheeks. Something about the look on his face right now made my heart squeeze a touch. In this moment, he seemed like a regular guy, not like the abrasive asshole he always presented to me. Then he opened his mouth. “Sorry I was right about him.”

  I stiffened, stunned to silence.

  “I hope you’re getting over it.” He glanced away from me over to his friends at the bar, and I could tell he desperately wanted to escape to them.

  Well, why the hell had he come over here in the first place? Boy, I was an idiot, thinking we could actually get along. That somehow we’d put this lifetime of antagonism behind us and found a way to move forward like regular people. But no, not so much.

  I stood and grabbed my clutch, not caring if my dress was riding my thighs too high. My eyes began to burn, and I was suddenly angry at Kyle for making me feel that sting of West’s betrayal again, especially since I’d come here to escape it. But that wound throbbed just below the surface.

  I didn’t bother to say anything to him. If he could be rude, I could too. I just wove through the crowd and went right into the women’s bathroom. There was thankfully only one other woman in there. I darted into the stall at the end of the row and pressed the heels of my hands to my eyeballs.

  Not here, I chanted to myself. Not here. Why had I let him rattle me like that? I was embarrassed with myself. I knew who he was and what he was like. I shouldn’t have expected, ya know, regular empathy or understanding from a jerk like him. Most likely it wasn’t anything personal against me—the guy just had no social skills.

  This hiding-out-in-the-bathroom thing was becoming a bad habit for me. I gave a watery laugh and grabbed a few squares of toilet paper to dab my face.

  The door to my bathroom stall, which had been cracked a few inches since I hadn’t bothered to close it, flew all the way open. A gasp escaped my mouth as I saw Kyle staring down at me, something hot and angry and dark in his eyes.

  I stood and blurted out, “What the hell are you doing?” I craned my neck to look around his shoulder. Were there any other women in here?

  He stepped into the stall, invading my space in a very vivid way that made me smell the spicy tang of his cologne. His face was inches from mine. “Natalie, shit, I’m sorry.” He raked his hair with those strong fingers and gave a growl of frustration. “God, I suck at this. I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings.”

  Alcohol surged through me and gave me the courage to say, “You need to work on your bedside manner, because it sucks.”

  He paused and eyed me, and the darkness in his gaze lightened just a hint. “I’m not a doctor.”

  “You know what I mean,” I huffed. “You deal with people all the time, but you’re so… You’re mean, and you don’t even care who you hurt.” I couldn’t believe I was saying all of this to him. Who was I, and where had my normally amenable, nurturing self gone?

  Apparently, being drunk and cheated on made me a bit hostile.

  “I’m not mean,” he retorted with a raised brow. “I’m blunt. I’m honest. What you see is what you get. I’ve never pretended to be anything other than who I am, and I always tell the truth. Most of society views that as a positive trait.”

  “Fine.” I nodded and tore my gaze away from his heated eyes to stare at the small buttons on his dress shirt. “I’m fine, but thank you for checking on me. I don’t need you to comfort me. It’s all fine.” If I kept saying the word fine, maybe it would actually be true.

  “Where are your friends?” he asked me, changing the subject.

  My chest tightened at his question, and I bit back a pitiful sigh. “They aren’t here. Obviously. They’re with their… Well, they’re out with other people. It is a holiday, you know,” I added lamely.

  He didn’t say anything else, just stood there, his chest rising and falling in a slow, even pattern. I kept my attention fixed on the unused button at the base of his throat. It was safer to look there. Because there was a stupid, mad fluttering in my belly, a heat pouring through me at his sheer proximity. Even as irritated as I was, I couldn’t help but be sexually aware of him.

  A couple of young women came into the bathroom, their conversation stopping. They must have seen Kyle partly sticking out of my stall. Their whispers kicked up, and they giggled and left the bathroom. Wonderful. I groaned.

  “Natalie,” Kyle said. I looked up at his rough voice to see his eyes locked on mine. Everything he was thinking and feeling was right there on his face. The realness, the openness of it stunned me. “You shouldn’t be alone tonight. Not after what you just went through.”

  “I’m fine,” I repeated in a low whisper. Strangely enough, being this close to Kyle shoved all thoughts of West out of my brain. I swallowed. Now that I was looking at Kyle, really looking, I could tell that what I’d identified as anger in his eyes was actually worry.

  He was concerned? About me?

  I sucked my lower lip. His gaze dropped to my mouth then moved down my deep, exposed neckli
ne. My skin tightened like he’d given me a physical caress. I saw his Adam’s apple bob, and a light sigh flew out of my mouth, unbidden.

  “That dress is dangerous, you know.” There was a guttural element to his voice that made my sex clench. Holy shit, how had I never realized how potent the guy could sound? His eyes grew heavy-lidded, the right side of his jaw ticking. “I think you should go home.”

  All I could do was shake my head in response. My entire body throbbed, and my mouth opened with a sight part of my lips. If I weren’t here right now, I wouldn’t believe I was having this strong of a reaction to Kyle. I knew he could read my desire on my face; I wasn’t sure why, but I wanted him to see what I was feeling.

  Wanted to see what he’d do with the open invitation in my eyes.

  I wasn’t normally this impulsive, but some earthy, feminine part of me ached to push him into action. Was it the alcohol? My long-denied sexual hunger? Or was something else at play here?

  Kyle blinked and looked away to rest his hand on the stall door. Then he muttered a cuss word and took a step toward me, his fingers moving behind his back. The sound of the metal sliding in the door lock made my heart give an excited lurch.

  Before I realized what was happening, Kyle tugged me to him then dug his fingers into the bound hair at the nape of my neck. He lowered his head and took my mouth in a hot kiss.

  There was no asking for permission, just claiming. I opened to him, tasted the warm stroke of his bold tongue, felt the way he sank against me, our torsos pressed together. My nipples beaded and I groaned, wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

  I grew dizzy, heavy-limbed.

  He spun me around so my back was against the tile wall. The chill from the ceramic was a stark contrast to the frenzied blood rushing through my veins, the scorching heat pouring from his body into mine. All I could taste and smell and feel was Kyle, his fingers exploring my bare flesh without hesitation, dipping to stroke the skin between my breasts, the other hand squeezing the roundness of my hip.